Pyjama shortage

Pyjama wearers across the globe were shocked today, as nightwear manufacturers declared an international state of pyjamamergency. Fibres from the anus of the Silkshitting caterpillar have dried up, leaving factories clothless, and child labourers unemployed.

Emergency substitute banana fibres are being flown in from Panama, but if you don't like yellow jim-jams, you're fucked.

Over to Tora for the sportsweather. You slack-jawed yokel!