Alternative power

The UK is set to unveil new power consumption laws today, amidst confusion and dismay from regular electricity users. From midnight tonight, British residents will have to cut their consumption down to 3 square feet of electricity per hour. The tighter laws were put in place in an effort to create a greener, more power-efficient Britain. However, residents of London claim that, because they live in the city, it's unfair to give them the same stringent rules as the rest of the country.

We spoke to Janice Facestabber, local council member for Hackney Cockney district, but we couldn't understand what she was saying. Maybe you can make sense of it.

"It's bladdy orful! There I woz, appews n pares, cor blimey ol guvna, plates a meet!"

She then went on to break the new laws, by getting electricuted in the head by us.