Thanks, Lya

Shit off, you cocks.

Main story: Later.

Now, business news.

Lya: No you twat, we already did that.

Oh yeh. Umm... Ok, I'll do something else. Fine. FINE.

Dogs: Man's best friend, or MENACE TO SOCIETY? (onion) Jewish dogs have been organising a rally for their cause, and the peoples of peopleton don't like it. One mother claims "they took away my carriage, and left the horses on bricks". One Swedish luddite was so shocked by the protests that he threw his own shoes into a fire of mice.

The dogs, once calm, loving, faithful creatures trained to fetch their masters slippers and crap on next-door's lawn, have been growing more and more impatient with their owners' lack of respect for their faith. Uproar spreads like wildblaze through the very fabric of dogsociety, burning the clothes and houses and belongings and cars and houses of their once-keepers.

Dog-rabbi Marlon Grumpshed says "Oi vey, it's like those CUNTS just go to Christian church, and they don't give a spinning shitfuck about my removed foreskin. I can't stand that shit, so we're mounting a protest, right after I've mounted this old guy's leg".

The people, known as "people", aren't going to stand for it. "Fuck those fucking fucks" retorts Sheila Slapspunk, a reformed alcoholic and bingo queen of the 1950s. "We've been doing our Jesus stuff for months now, and if those dogs want to get above their station and start a beef wiv us, we'll break them!"

So far there have been no casualties.

Lya?